
Scrolling through social media, I recently came across a video that left me with a mix of emotions—anger, frustration, and sadness. In it, a support worker sat beside an autistic child in the car, saying, “Hey mate, you just had a meltdown, didn’t you?” before offering a high five. The post then shifted into a rant about how society should be ashamed for staring at autistic children.
I get it—people do stare. As parents, we’ve all felt the judgmental looks when our child is struggling in public. But what truly upset me was the way the child in the video was spoken to and the fact that his moment of vulnerability was recorded and shared for social media engagement.
If that had been my son, John, I would have been furious. I asked him how he would feel if someone did that to him. His response? “Sad. I wouldn’t want people to see that video.” And that’s the reality. Our children are human beings—not social media content.
Respect, Not Recognition
Support workers play an essential role in our children’s lives, but there’s a line that should never be crossed. Filming a child during or after a meltdown is not support—it’s exploitation. Giving a high five as if they "got through it" as a milestone? That’s dismissive. A meltdown is not a tantrum. It’s not something they "snap out of." It’s an overwhelming neurological response to stress, and our kids deserve respect, not recognition for "recovering" in a way that makes others feel more comfortable.
Autistic Children Deserve Dignity
Would you film an adult having a panic attack and post it online? Would you high-five someone who just experienced a trauma response? Probably not. So why is it acceptable to do this to autistic children?
Our kids should be supported, not showcased. They should be spoken to with kindness and understanding, not as a tool to push a social agenda. If you want to spread awareness, advocate for their rights, educate others on neurodivergence, and support them privately in ways that align with their comfort—not what looks good for social media.
To Support Workers: Please Remember
Our children are not props for clout or online engagement.
Speak to them with the dignity and respect you’d want for yourself.
Never film them without consent—and let’s be honest, a child in distress cannot give consent.
Instead of focusing on society’s judgment, focus on supporting the child in that moment.
Understand that a meltdown is not an opportunity to "motivate" them with a high five. It’s a moment where they need safety and support.
As a mum, I ask you to always think—How would I feel if someone did this to me? Because autistic children are not here for likes, shares, or sympathy points. They are human, and they deserve better.
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